Sucking It Up and Counting Down

August 28, 2008 at 7:22 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s been quite a while since my last post, so I thought I ought to fill you all in on any updates. There hasn’t been too much that has changed, really, just small things here and there. I have a feeling this post is going to be more emotional than informational, so unless you think reading it could color your full view of the experience (which is why I’m posting it) you should skip it.

Anyway, on to business. I’ve been very busy lately getting things in order for the 11th. I need to collect all of my college applications, talk to my counselor and teachers about recommendation, and finish my first semester of BYU Trig. It would be such a nightmare to have to ask someone to proctor my final when I’m new there, especially considering they have to fill out a few forms and be able to read the instructions, which are only in English. College applications are in the same place. Because I’ll be in China during the application window for UCs, and there’s a chance I won’t be able to apply/reach the site while I’m there, the majority of the work will be placed on my parents and counselor. I’m trying my best to make them do as little as possible, which means getting everything in order while I’m still in the States. Luckily, everyone’s been super supportive along the way, my counselor and I had a meeting yesterday to discuss my arrangements and set a date for my BYU exam.  She emailed the BYU people, asking them to rush the post so that I could take the exam before I leave (thank you Mieske!) so I’m taking it next Thursday. The college apps have been nice as well, the essay prompts are all ones I am prepared for, and no one asks for anything out of this world (actually, none of them ask for teacher recommendations, I’m just getting some for scholarship backups.) I’m mainly applying to UC campuses, and the three private colleges I am applying to all accept the Common Application, so overall I’m going to fill out 2 applications and write a maximum of 4 essays. Not too bad, really.

Aside from school, there’s a great deal to think about in packing. I’m allowed by AFS 1 suitcase weighing no more than 20kg (44 pounds), a carry on suitcase and a personal item, which will most likely be my purse. It’s not much by any standard, I’ve packed more for summer trips, but it’s fair. After all, we have to be able to carry all of our luggage ourselves through airport terminals. Nevertheless, 44 pounds means slimming down a lot. There are countless methods of how to fit your stuff into every last crevice of the suitcase, but in the end, the weight limit still calls the shots. You start looking through your room in terms of “Am I packing that?”. Clothes haven’t been too much of a problem. As fate would have it, this summer has done quite a run with them. Between henna and bleach stains alongside holes appearing from wear and tear, my clothes have essentially naturally selected themselves. Those that survive the summer come along. The real killer, however, has been non-clothing goods. How much space can I allow for mementos, which are naturally fragile, or should I be using that for books, which are quite heavy? Does practicality or emotionality win out, and will I regret an imbalance of the two? There’s also host gifts and references to home. I made the mistake upon moving here from Chicago of not having anything about where I was from at all. This time I’m packed with California pictures, music, and Chico specialties to distribute. My dad got prints of 100 of his photos, which made me so happy, I nearly cried. He even included some photos of himself, which he prolly hated, but I’m so happy for.  What would my host family like? It’s so hard to think of what to give them, to express how happy I would be to stay with them.

Of course, it would be much easier to choose thoughtful gifts if I had a host family. I guess that leads to the first big update. Shortly after my last post, I contacted my AA to see if there had been any updates in getting me another host family. Turns out, he had no idea that my other family fell through, or that as of right now, I have no one expecting to host me. Sometimes you just have to adore the communication between AFS, really, but more on that later. Anyway, so my AA has been on vacation for the last weekend, and came back yesterday. I still have no news, but I know that most likely it’s because he has no information yet. After all, he can’t fill me in until AFS China fills him in. To be succinct, I haven’t a host family that I can guarantee will be there, my AA is working at it, and I have 2 weeks before I’m leaving.

Honestly, I’m not half as worried about it as I probably should be. Lately, it’s very hard for me to think about exchange for very long before my mind switches out. It’s like there’s a giant wall there, which is preventing a giant wave of panic. My body seems to be taking the stress away from my mind, as I’ve come down with a minor fever and have been sore all over, which I blame on stress. Anyway, if I’m not feeling it, my parents sure are. My dad’s been anxious about my host family, and hesitant to buy my domestic ticket to LA until he knows that this won’t stop me from going on the ordained date. We haven’t received any guarantees of it, but we thought it necessary to get on with it anyway.

Which leads to my flight plan and second major update. As of now, the plans are thus: I will leave around 8:00am from home to arrive to Sacramento Airport at for a flight to LA at 10 am. I’ll arrive in LA around 11:30 at the earliest, giving me a bit of time to catch my bags and call a shuttle to the orientation hotel. I have to be at the hotel by 2pm at the very latest, so I’ll be there in plenty of time. Once there, the 3 American China outbounds (Erica, Jesus, and I) will be attending what may turn out to be one of the smallest orientations ever. Usually, outbounds to countries in the same area go to the same orientation, resulting in a semi-large to large group (I’ve heard of orientations in the 100’s). Well, all of the countries leaving out of LA or in the Pacific rim have already left, or will have by the time September comes around. So that leaves AFS China outbounds, which totals to 3 (as far as we know). I can’t say I mind terribly, after all, I already know and like Jesus and Erica, so it will be nice to be with people I’m comfortable with the night before and the flight of. Though it does make me feel odd, after all, from what I’ve heard of pre-flight orientations is that they’re full of get-to-know-you activities and lectures on rules, so that may be interesting with only 3 of us. Not to mention, there are no guarantees that is WILL be just the three of us, as no one has come out and told us how many China outbounds there are. According to my AA, no more than 6 people had applied to China at the time of the deadline, and a few have dropped out. Perhaps we’ll meet someone completely new while we’re there, which would be an awesome surprise. Anyway, at 8:30 the next day, we have a flight from LA to San Francisco (yes, I’m flying downstate and then back upstate), then from San Fran to Beijing. Now here’s where once again it’s complicated. The Europeans, Melodie, Yiney, and Ivan all have flight plans to Shanghai. For the longest time, we thought this meant that we would be separated for our arrival orientation, with Americans and unknown others landing in Beijing while Europeans landing in Shanghai. This barely made any sense, why have 2 orientations, especially considering AFS China is relatively small. Anyway, Jesus figured out from the AFS Shanghai student group that we would not be separated. In fact, we fill be taking another plane in Beijing to Shanghai. The orientation spot was moved because of the Olympics, with AFS America being the last to know. Now, again, none of this is guaranteed, because no one has yet to tell us anything. Were it not for the internet and the great minds of the group, we’d all be sitting on our hands about to get a few huge shocks come September. I love AFS but I wish they kept us informed a bit more, or at all. It’s not AFS America’s fault so much, as my AA knows little to nothing either. Today, I found out that Melodie’s family never knew about hosting her at all. The story is that she’s been emailing them over and over for the last 2 months, getting no replies. Finally, Melodie asked her friend Siyu in China to telephone her host family and see what’s going on. Turns out, they’ve never heard of her, or of hosting anyone. They had received her emails, but assumed they were spam because they didn’t know who she was. This whole situation is complete bullshit. Two weeks to go, and neither of us have host families, neither have been told that we didn’t have host families, and there are host families that don’t know they’re supposed to be hosting us. Somewhere along the line, someone is lying to protect themselves. Perhaps it’s someone within the school, AFS Harbin, or all the way up to AFS China. My AA won’t return any of my calls or emails. I assume it’s because he doesn’t know anything, but it’d be nice to have him tell me that. Right now I’m angry instead of scared.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated, but I have a feeling it’s a great deal more than anything AFS. It’s been a difficult month, which I anticipated, but didn’t quite prepare for. All of my friends returned to school August 13th, while my parents and sister work, which means that for the majority of the day, I’m alone. Sometimes I take bike rides to run errands or rent a few movies, but most of my days are pretty dull. Wake up, work on trig, check email, play video games, look over my packing list for the billionth time, swim, nap, repeat. “The month of transition is always hard, because you don’t really belong anywhere.” I certainly don’t feel like I don’t belong here, because everyone’s been really supportive and close, but there’s still something in it. It’s hard because you want to shout “I’m leaving so soon! Why am I alone?” but you know that you’re leaving soon. While I sit in this laid back limbo with no real responsibility, the people around me have to get on with life. School goes on, exams must be taken and studied for, other relationships have to be fostered. After all, how horrible would I be to try and keep everyone to myself when I’m the one leaving them? This month is full of frustration, restlessness, and self pity, but it will pass, like all things. So the important thing is to suck it up and make sure everything fits in place here before I leave.

Oh, and because I haven’t posted it yet, here is Melodie’s blog (http://mel-in-china.blogspot.com). It’s in French, but somethings are in English. She has the best taste in music too x3.